GOP Candidates Get Sexual

Could any of us have envisioned the depths of absolute madness into which the Republican Party would descend during this 2016 primary season? It’s as someone tweeted, “I feel like this is the last season of America and the writers are just going nuts.” Nothing exemplifies this as well as the sexual things — some intentional, some witless accidents that only sound filthy to our filthy minds — that have come out of candidates’ mouths. Here are 5 times the Republican candidates said something disturbingly sexual and deeply unsettling.

TED CRUZ AND RAT SEX

Last month, during a speech in Wisconsin, Ted Cruz was talking about the dirty tricks of Donald Trump advisor Roger Stone, who Cruz said was “a man for whom a term was coined for copulating with a rodent.” But Cruz wouldn’t stop there. He wanted to try analogy. “Well let me be clear,” he continued, “Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him.”

A presidential candidate feeling the need to joke about how he has no desire to make love with rival candidates has to be some kind of record low in American politics, but that can hardly be overshadowed by the fact Cruz used the word “but.” He “may be a rat, but…”? So if it was a rat but not Trump, you might think about it? Ted, you sly dog!

WHEN RUBIO DREW ATTENTION TO TRUMP’S DANGLE…

Marco Rubio, desperate to stop Donald Trump’s onslaught in the early contests, started fighting dirty. Channeling his inner frat boy, Rubio called Trump illiterate, mocked his spray tan, and joked that maybe Trump peed his pants. Then Rubio, once hailed as the more presidential-looking and presidential-acting of the Republican field, hit The Donald where it hurt. He said Trump had small hands, “and you know what they say about guys with small hands!” As his surprised audience laughed, he joked, “You can’t trust them!”

Shocking to nearly all political analysts, Rubio’s attack on Trump’s penis did not save his doomed campaign.

…AND TRUMP THOUGHT, “CHRIST, WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?”

Donald Trump, who has crushed his opposition from the very beginning because a massive portion of conservative voters love his bigotry and authoritarianism, and overall insanity, seized on the opportunity Rubio offered. It was as if Rubio thought that gasoline would douse the fiery sh*tstorm that is Trump’s candidacy. The Donald assured the nation during a nationally-televised Republican debate that all was well with his Johnson, using his trademarked nearly-incoherent psychobabble:

Look at those hands, are they small hands?… He referred to my hands — ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.

When CNN runs an article headlined, “Donald Trump Defends Size of His Penis,” you know it’s all over. R.I.P. America, 1776-2016.

GOTTA BE CAREFUL WHEN SAYING “ON YOUR KNEES”

Ted Cruz made clear what he thought of presidential candidates that aren’t as pious as he: “Any president who doesn’t begin every day on his knees isn’t fit to be commander-in-chief of this nation,” forcing more liberal opinion writers to decide if they should focus their articles on the smug implication of the superiority and necessity of religious leaders or just how dirty such a statement sounds to anyone who isn’t nine.

The choice wasn’t difficult. Our bad.

P.S. Sorry for all the pics of Ted Cruz.

JEB’S HOT THREESOME

After Jeb’s miserable performance in the first couple primaries and caucuses, he was forced to pull out (LOL). “I’ve had an incredible life [uhhh, is it ending?], and for me, public service has been the highlight of that life,” Bush said. “But no matter what the future holds…tonight I’m going to sleep with the best friend I have and the love of my life.”

The love of his life is clearly Columba, his wife, whom he kissed after saying this. The word is still out on who Jeb’s best friend is, whether it’s a woman or man (Devil’s Threesome, anyone?), why Columba seemed so calm in the face of Jeb’s public admission of their freaky sex life, or how the evening went overall.

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Missouri State Sued for Dismissing Counseling Student Who Vowed Not to Counsel Gay Couples

In a story making national headlines, from Think Progress to The Daily Beast, a former counseling student is suing Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri, for violating his freedom of religion and expression. Andrew Cash was dismissed from Missouri State’s counseling program after he refused to abide by the terms set by the university for his remedial work, which addressed his determination not to counsel gay couples.

Cash had interned at the Springfield Marriage and Family Institute, a Christian organization, and earned 51 hours of experience when in 2011 Missouri State discovered that SMFI, while offering counseling to individual homosexual patients, refused marriage counseling for gay couples. During this revelation, it was further made known that Cash agreed with this stance and intended to follow it in his professional practice.

Refusing to counsel gay couples is a direct violation of the American Counseling Association’s code of ethics, which Missouri State is required to abide by to keep its accreditation from the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs.

Missouri State required Cash to go through a remedial process to address his stance (according to The Daily Beast, including classes he already took and a self-assessment), and removed SMFI as an approved internship site, saying Cash’s 51 hours there would not apply to his degree. He appealed this latter measure for two years, but by late 2014 the Missouri State counseling department had had enough and, believing Cash unfit for the profession, removed him from the program.

Cash’s lawsuit says his “experience at MSU has been devastating, crushing, and tormenting,” a “living nightmare,” and that he was “targeted and punished for expressing his Christian worldview.” He has “lost countless hours of sleep, and lives with gut-wrenching thoughts and fears about his future and ability to enter the counseling profession, and experiences of emotional grief, anxiety and panic, each day…”

Similar lawsuits at Eastern Michigan University and Augusta State University failed. Courts ruled universities have the right to ensure students abide by the American Counseling Association’s code of ethics.

The Springfield News-Leader writes,

It’s not the first time religious freedom has been cited in a lawsuit against MSU. Emily Brooker sued the university in 2006, accusing the school and a faculty member of violating her First Amendment rights when she refused to sign a letter supporting same-sex adoption. Brooker was a student in the School of Social Work.

Brooker alleged in her lawsuit that faculty members interrogated her for over two hours and asked her questions such as: “Do you think gays and lesbians are sinners?” and “Do you think I am a sinner?” Brooker made national headlines before reaching a settlement with the university.

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Almost Every Detroit Public School Shut Down as Teachers Protest

On Monday, May 2, 2016, 94 of the Detroit Public School District’s 97 schools were closed, as massive numbers of teachers called in sick to protest a Saturday announcement that they wouldn’t get any paychecks after June 30. On that date, the emergency district manager told union leaders, about $50 million in emergency state aid will be gone and the deeply indebted district will be broke. Summer school and special education programs will likewise be cancelled if no more aid is received.

The unions encouraged calling in sick (a so-called “sick-out”) because public school teacher strikes are illegal in Michigan. This is one of several sick-outs the unions called since last year, which will likely cause “lawmakers to consider tightening the definition of what constitutes a strike.”

The Detroit Public School District has been poorly funded for a long time for several reasons, from the standard American practice of funding school districts through property taxes (ensuring poor neighborhoods have poor schools) to the low test scores that poor students consistently achieve meaning few federal funds (under programs like No Child Left Behind) to the city’s bankruptcy of three years ago. The Michigan Legislature is considering a $720 million restructuring plan to rescue the district, and today’s protest will likely push the lawmakers along.

The district is overwhelmingly black and poor. With just under 50,000 students, about 84% are black, 12% Hispanic. 80% of students are on the Free/Reduced Lunch Program. Facilities are crumbling, classrooms crowded and ill-equipped. “I want to be able to go to school and not have to worry about being bitten by mice, being knocked out by the gases, being cold in the rooms,” a Detroit student, Wisdom Morales, said earlier this year.

The state as a whole is suffering from both a lack of revenue and the poor decisions of leaders, which devastated public services like schools and water treatment.

Like other states, especially those controlled by Republican administrations, Michigan has accrued large deficits while shifting the tax burden from large corporations and the wealthy onto low- and middle-income earners. Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, for example, “dug himself into a $454.4 million deficit,” giving “away billions of dollars in tax credits to major corporations…all while squeezing more from the average citizen – some $900 million more, while corporations paid $1.7 billion less in 2014.”

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Lies and Oil: A Brief History of the U.S. in Iraq

In “A History of Violence: Facing U.S. Wars of Aggression,” we saw a broad overview of how the American government uses military force to protect its economic interests and global power. Now we will take a closer look at the U.S. wars in Iraq. Sources include those listed at the beginning of the aforementioned article, particularly Hegemony or Survival, Imperial Ambitions, The Untold History of the United States, and A People’s History of the United States.

The story of the United States and Iraq begins with oil.

In 1963, British intelligence and the CIA supported the Ba’ath Party’s overthrow of Iraqi Prime Minister Abdul Karim Qassem, who threatened British and American oil interests. Qassem sought to take ownership of Iraqi oil from private foreign companies like BP, Exxon, and Mobil so the production and distribution of oil, and its profits, would serve Iraq. The Ba’ath coup was successful, and Qassem was publicly executed.

Iraq’s new dictator, Ba’ath party member Saddam Hussein, became a close U.S. ally (the CIA had recruited him to murder Qassem[1]). Though Hussein was not a perfect ally (he ended up nationalizing the Iraqi oil industry in the early 1970s, seizing 75% of Iraq’s oil production[2]), the U.S. had a vested interest in protecting its access to Iraq’s oil, and thus it supported the 1980 Iraqi invasion of Iran (a country that in 1953 also had its uncooperative government overthrown and a brutal dictator installed by the CIA, but had since continued to displease American officials).

Reagan removed Iraq from the list of terrorist states so he could arm Saddam with military equipment—throughout the 1980s, the United States supplied Iraq with war machines and $40 billion worth of loans. The government sold Iraq biological and chemical weaponry, and the CIA instructed in their use. Iraqi nuclear engineers were invited to the U.S. for instruction in weapons manufacturing.[3] The Reagan Administration blocked U.N. resolutions condemning Saddam’s atrocities and use of illegal weapons. The U.S. military even assisted the Iraqis between 1987 and 1988. After 8 years, one million Iranians and Iraqis were dead. After the war was over, a war during which Saddam massacred Kurdish Iraqis and other ethnic minorities with these devices, the U.S. continued to supply him with anthrax, cyanide, and other chemicals. Again, the interests of oil corporations encouraged passivity toward violence and death on a massive scale.

But in 1990, Saddam went too far, greatly displeasing American leaders and quickly devolving into an enemy. Iraq launched an invasion of Kuwait to seize control of the Kuwait oil industry. Tensions escalated between Saudi Arabia and Iraq, and the Bush Administration feared Saddam would also attempt to seize nearby Saudi oil fields—which were enriching U.S. oil companies. President George H.W. Bush amassed over half a million troops in Saudi Arabia and drove Saddam from Kuwait in 1991, utterly destroying his military. Tens of thousands of Iraqis died. With Iraq defeated and defenseless, the U.S. maintained control of Iraqi airspace, and enforced harsh UN sanctions that severely restricted imports to force Saddam to disarm. This economic warfare caused widespread poverty and a huge death toll. Clinton’s Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, when asked her opinion in 1996 on the nearly 600,000 Iraqi children under the age of 5 who died as a result of U.S. sanctions, said, “We think the price is worth it.” An “Oil-for-Food” program introduced by the Clinton Administration sought to alleviate the starvation. Food would be shipped to Iraq if Saddam would sell large amounts of oil on the world market. Foreign nations would get oil, and the profits from the sales would fund food and medicine for Iraqis, war reparations to Kuwait, and U.S.-U.N. operations in Iraq.

Iraq eventually dismantled its biological and chemical weapons program, a process overseen by UN inspectors.

On September 11, 2001, members of the Al-Qaeda terrorist group killed thousands of American civilians in New York and D.C. by hijacking planes and crashing them into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. The summer before, the CIA and FBI had warned a dismissive President Bush that Al-Qaeda was planning to attack the U.S. by hijacking planes.[4] The U.S. invaded Afghanistan to destroy Al-Qaeda and the Taliban, the brutal Afghani rulers who refused to hand over bin Laden. At the same time, the Bush Administration launched a propaganda campaign attempting to link Saddam with the attack and convince Americans he was a well-armed threat to our existence, despite Iraq’s poverty, extreme military weakness, and documented disarmament. Richard A. Clarke, the National Security Council counterterrorism coordinator at the time, said, “When the 9-11 attacks occurred, Bush cabinet members immediately discussed how that tragedy could be used to justify an invasion [of Iraq]” and “Bush himself asked me to try to pin the blame for 9-11 on Iraq.”[5] The administration was so eager to blame Iraq, Donald Rumsfeld had ordered strike plans against Iraq on September 11, while the ruins of the twin towers still smoldered.[6]

A false case was made for war against Iraq. It reminds one of what one of Hitler’s officials, Hermann Goering, said a generation before: “The people don’t want war…the leaders of the country determine the policy…the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounced the pacifists for lack of patriotism.”

Real evidence that Iraq participated in an attack against the U.S. or was planning to do so never materialized. The “evidence” the government presented—that one of the 9/11 hijackers met with an Iraqi intelligence official, that Iraq was buying uranium from Niger, kept mobile biological weapons labs, and helped train Al-Qaeda—all turned out to be forgeries and lies.[7] Secretary of State Collin Powell presented all this to the United Nations (Bush told him, “Maybe they’ll believe you”), but later called it a low point in his career.[8] Michael Morell, a CIA official who served as Bush’s intelligence briefer, admitted in 2015 that the Bush Administration took the information he provided and distorted it.[9] Later, Bush administration officials like Cheney and Rumsfeld ordered the use of torture in Iraq in an attempt to turn their lie into a truth, to establish a link between Saddam Hussein and Al-Qaeda operations.[10] As Noam Chomsky documents, an army psychiatrist named Major Charles Burney explained that “a large part of the time we were focused on trying to establish a link between Al Qaeda and Iraq. The more frustrated people got in not being able to establish this link…there was more and more pressure to resort to measures that might produce more immediate results.”[11] The press reported that “the Bush administration applied relentless pressure on interrogators to use harsh methods on detainees in part to find evidence of cooperation between al Qaida and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein… [Cheney and Rumsfeld] demanded that the interrogators find evidence of al Qaida-Iraq collaboration” and a senior intelligence official said, “There was constant pressure on the intelligence agencies and the interrogators to do whatever it took…”[12]

In truth, the Bush Administration saw an easy opportunity to eliminate a rogue dictator and seize control over the second-largest oil reserves in the world.[13] There was no need to invade Saudi Arabia, the home nation of nearly all the 9/11 terrorists—Saudi Arabia was a close ally and a crucial oil partner. Around the globe, there were other countries suffering under worse dictators, but spreading freedom and democracy was not the real goal (once Iraq was occupied, Washington actually tried to prevent elections, because the Iraqi electorate, strongly opposed to the U.S. invasion and U.S. policies, threatened control over the country).[14] Iraq, one of the richest prizes in the world, was both vulnerable and, with a little dishonesty, could be made into an enemy with weapons of mass destruction that supported the 9/11 attacks. Seizing Iraq would open the door to further interventions and tighter control of the region. “Pentagon officials foresaw a five-year campaign with a total of seven targeted countries, beginning with Iraq, followed by Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, and the biggest prize of all, Iran.”[15] In the National Security Strategy of 2002, the Bush administration declared it had the right to launch pre-emptive wars against any nation that it perceived to be a future threat, and that no nation should be allowed to challenge America’s global dominance.[16]

The invasion launched in March 2003, and over the next decade millions of innocent people were displaced, hundreds of thousands of civilians killed (in mid-2015, it was estimated that 1.3 million people had died because of the War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Pakistan[17]). Thousands of U.S. soldiers died, trillions of taxpayer dollars were wasted, and the country fell into sectarian violence and civil war.

The Bush Administration announced that American companies would rebuild the Iraqi oil industries, and Halliburton, Baker Hughes, and other U.S. drillers raked in hundreds of billions in profits.[18] Bush even had to issue a “signing statement” to the 2008 National Defense Authorization Act that declared he wouldn’t obey parts of the bill that forbade spending taxpayer money to, in Bush’s words, “establish any military installation or base for the purpose of providing for the permanent stationing of United States Armed Forces in Iraq” or “to exercise United States control of the oil resources of Iraq.”[19]

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Notes

[1] http://www.alternet.org/world/35-countries-where-us-has-supported-fascists-druglords-and-terrorists

[2] https://www.globalpolicy.org/component/content/article/185/40719.html

[3] Chomsky, Who Rules the World?, 164-165

[4] Stone, Concise, 277

[5] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/richard-a-clarke/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285.html

[6] Stone, Concise, 282

[7] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/richard-a-clarke/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285.html

[8] Stone, Concise, 289

[9] http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/05/michael-morell-bush-cheney-iraq-war

[10] Chomsky, Hopes and Prospects, 259

[11] Chomsky, Who Rules the World?, 31

[12] Chomsky, Who Rules the World?, 31

[13] Hegemony or Survival, Chomsky; Imperial Ambitions, Chomsky

[14] Chomsky, Hopes and Prospects, 236

[15] Stone, Concise, 290

[16] Foner, Giver Me Liberty, 1045

[17] http://www.commondreams.org/news/2015/03/26/body-count-report-reveals-least-13-million-lives-lost-us-led-war-terror

[18] US Companies Get Slice of Iraq’s Oil Pie, Kramer, New York Times.

[19] http://archive.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/01/30/bush_asserts_authority_to_bypass_defense_act/

Tow Truck Driver: God Said Not to Help Disabled Woman Due to Bernie Bumper Sticker

Conservative Christian Ken Shupe, who runs Shupe Max Towing in Traveler’s Rest, South Carolina, left a woman with disabilities who had just been in a car accident stranded on the side of a highway. Upon noticing Cassy McWade’s Bernie Sanders bumper sticker on the back of her vehicle, God allegedly told Shupe not to help McWade.

“Something came over me, I think the Lord came to me, and He just said get in the truck and leave,” Shupe explained. “And when I got in my truck, you know, I was so proud, because I felt like I finally drew a line in the sand and stood up for what I believed.”

Shupe said Bernie Sanders supporters had given him grief in the past about paying their towing bills. “I’ve had some horrible experiences in the last six months with towing cars for this mindset individuals, in that I don’t get paid. They want to argue about a $50 tow bill, and it turns into just a drama and a fuss. And I said, you know, I’m not going to associate with them, and I’m not going to do any business with them.”

Shupe is a Donald Trump supporter.

McWade said, “He goes around back and comes back and says ‘I can’t tow you.’ My first instinct was there must be something wrong with the car. And he says, ‘No, you’re a Bernie supporter.’ And I was like wait, really? And he says, ‘Yes ma’am,’ and just walks away.”

She added, “I personally don’t believe that you…have to agree on anything just to be kind to one another. I was like, what did I do to you?”

McWade has psoriatic arthritis, fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and early-stage Crohns Disease. She says her handicap placard was on her rearview mirror and that Shupe had been told on the phone that she was disabled.

Shupe claimed he did not know McWade had disabilities, but noted: “Had she been disabled, would I have towed her car? No… I would have pulled forward and sat there with her to make sure she was OK until another wrecker service showed up to get her home safely, but I still would not have towed her car. I stand by my decision, and I would do it again today if the opportunity presented itself.”

A writer for a popular atheist website wrote: “Just like the Good Samaritan in the Bible.”

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