Headlines From the United States of Atheism

Alternatively titled: If You Get Why Government Favoring and Promoting Atheism or Another Faith is Unacceptable, You Get Why the Same is True For Christianity. Lest the following satire be misunderstood, let’s state this plainly. All people have the right to believe what they like, and promote it — unless you’re on the clock as a public employee or trying to use public institutions. Government needs to be neutral on matters of faith, not favoring or promoting one or any religion, nor atheism. To be neutral isn’t to back or advocate for disbelief, unlike events described in these fictional, hopefully thought-provoking, headlines. It’s simply to acknowledge that this is a country and government for all people, not just those of the Judeo-Christian tradition. Not all students, customers, or constituents are Christians or even people of faith. Freedom from religion is just as important as freedom of religion, which is why church and State are kept separate. If you wouldn’t want government used to push atheism, Islam, and so forth in any way, whether through its employees, institutions, laws, or creations, then you get it.

Florida Bill Requires Public Schools to Offer Elective on Atheist Classics. Why No Required Electives For Holy Books?

“God is Dead” to Appear on U.S. Currency Next Year

Christian Student Refuses to Stand For Pledge, Objecting to “One Nation, Godless” Line

Supreme Court Yet to Rule on Whether Refusing Service to Christians Based on Religious Belief is Discrimination

Why Does the Law Still Say You Can’t Be Fired For Being Gay, But Can For Being a Person of Faith?

Coach Lectures Players About How God is Fictional and Can’t Help Them Before Every Game

Little-known Last Verse of National Anthem Reads: “And Faith is a Bust” 

Believers Bewildered as to Why Students Are Studying Science and Evolution in Religion Class  

Sam Harris One of Six Selected to Lead Traditional Refutations of God’s Existence at Presidential Inauguration 

Lawmakers Want “The God Delusion” as This State’s Official Book 

Christians Fight to be Allowed to Give Invocations at the Legislature Too; Many Americans Wonder Why Invocations Are Necessary

Supreme Court Unanimously OKs Refusing Adoption to Straight Couples if Your God Says To

Bonus: Headlines From the United States of Allah

Oklahoma Legislature Votes to Install Qu’ran Monument on Capitol Grounds 

States Are Requiring or Allowing “Allahu Akbar” to be Displayed in Public Schools

Muslims Object to Removal of Big Crescent and Star From Public Park

With U.S. Supreme Court Oblivious, Alabama Ditches Rule That Death Row Inmates Can Only Have Imam With Them at the End

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